Your girlfriend gave up on you. Maybe she didn’t throw her hands in the air in utter exasperation or dramatically tell you that you weren’t worth her time anymore, but it’s become increasingly obvious that she’s leaving you behind as she moves forward with her life. You’re not only stunned by her decision but you’re naturally confused by it as well. Sometimes, within a relationship, one partner may have absolutely no idea that the other feels so unhappy. Even if you two had problems you may not have realized that she was on the cusp of walking away from the relationship and you. Knowing that the person you love has given up on you is tough to accept. There are ways to get through this time in a much less painful way.
You know that you have to accept her decision to end things, but how exactly are you supposed to do that? You can’t just say to yourself, “okay, she’s gone so I’ll forget about her starting now.” Your heart isn’t going to play a part in that game. It’s very hard to let someone go when you still feel very deep and profound love and adoration for them. It’s more a process of taking steps along the way. You can begin to disconnect yourself emotionally from her so that eventually you’ll be able to think about her without the deep longing in your heart that you’re experiencing now.
One piece of advice that I believe is crucial during this time is to remove any reminders you have of her from your life. If you have photographs of the two of you on your phone, delete them. If you have saved emails that she’s written to you over the course of the relationship, delete this as well. The same goes for any gifts she may have purchased for you. If you don’t feel strong enough to toss them in the trash, put them somewhere that is hard to reach, be it at the back of a closet or over at a friend’s home. You want to make it nearly impossible to retrieve those items when you’re feeling melancholy and missing her.
The next step is one that is challenging but often overlooked. You absolutely must stop looking at your ex girlfriend as your girlfriend. She’s not anymore. She gave up on you and when she did she also gave up the title of your girlfriend. You’re single now and you must embrace that fact. Certainly that doesn’t mean that you need to jump on an online dating site or hit the busiest nightclubs in town. It does mean that you should view her as a former love and not someone who is an integral part of your life now. If you can do this, and disconnect from her within your own mind, you’ll be much less inclined to think about her repeatedly throughout the day.
You are well aware of the fact that women often change their minds at the drop of a hat. Your girlfriend may see that you have a lot of redeeming qualities after she’s had some distance and has taken the time to really think about what the relationship brought to her life. You can’t wait around for that to happen though because there’s no telling when it will. You just need to focus on today, tomorrow and all the days after that. Don’t put your life on hold a day longer. It’s time to embrace the bright future in front of you and all that it can offer.